Divorced Parenting (Custody and Visitation)

101 Ways to Be a Long-Distance Super Dad . . . or Mom, Too!, by George Newman (2nd ed., Blossom Valley Press, 1996). The title says it all!

Custody Chaos, Personal Peace: Sharing Custody with an Ex Who Drives You Crazy, by Jeffrey P. Wittmann (Penguin Putnam, Inc., 2001). The author, a licensed psychologist and divorce mediator in Albany, New York, offers a helpful mix of encouragement and skill-specific advice on how to keep peace when your ex refuses to change, and how to respond to, express, and heal anger.

"Does Wednesday Mean Mom's House or Dad's?" Parenting Together While Living Apart, by Marc J. Ackerman (John Wiley & Sons, 1997). Dr. Ackerman is a clinical psychologist and recognized child custody expert in Milwaukee. How children are affected [by divorce] depends on how parents conduct themselves during this trying time. . . this book coaches you on what to expect during divorce, and how to act in your children's best interest." [From the Publisher.]

Good Parenting Through Your Divorce: How to Recognize, Encourage and Respond to Your Child's Feelings and Help Them Get Through Your Divorce, by Mary Ellen Hannibal (Marlowe & Company, 2002). Based on the Kids' Turn workshop program in San Francisco, this parenting book offers tips on how to improve communication with your children and with your co-parent, how to make shared parenting work, and how to cope with the myriad of issues which arise out of separation and divorce.

Mom's House, Dad's House: A Complete Guide for Parents who are Separated, Divorced, or Remarried, by Isolina Ricci (2nd Ed., Simon & Schuster, 1997). Dr. Ricci is a licensed family therapist, educator, and mediator in California. My favorite sections of the book: how to break away from "negative intimacy" with a difficult ex-spouse, steps to building a "businesslike" working relationship as parents, and suggestions for negotiating parenting agreements. Dr. Ricci urges readers to work toward a "decent" divorce, one in which the parents develop a good working relationship which focuses on healthy outcomes for the children.

The Co-Parenting Survival Guide: Letting Go of Conflict after a Difficult Divorce, by Elizabeth S. Thayer and Jeffrey Zimmerman (New Harbinger Publications, 2001). This excellent book helps feuding parents “avoid the hot spots and the common traps of hostility, inflexibility, and constant squabbling, and develop skills to sustain a co-parenting partnership based on love and concern for your children, so they can best benefit from two parents living separately but working together.” [From the publisher.]

Vicki Lanski's Divorce Book for Parents: Helping your Children Cope with Divorce and its Aftermath, by Vicki Lansky (3rd ed., Book Peddlers, 1996). "With humor and common sense, bestselling parenting author Vicki Lansky draws on her own experience, that of other parents and the expertise of professionals to give sound, sensible advice to parents on how to help their children, know what normal behavior to expect, language to use -- and not use---and useful tips to get their children through this difficult time." [From the Publisher.] See her website at www.practicalparenting.com.

Wednesday Evenings and Every Other Weekend: From Divorced Dad to Competent Co-Parent, by F. Daniel McClure and Jerry B. Saffer (Van Doren Co., 2001). These child psychologists offer practical advice and pointers to noncustodial parents on how to maintain close and rewarding relationships with their children. Also see www.wednesdayevenings.com.

What About the Kids? Raising Your Children Before, During, and After Divorce, by Judith S. Wallerstein & Sandra Blakeslee (Hyperion, 2003). Renowned child psychologist and researcher Judith Wallerstein shares what she has learned from some thirty years of in-depth interviews with children of divorce and their parents.

What Every Woman Should Know about Divorce and Custody: Judges, Lawyers, and Therapists Share Winning Strategies on How to Keep the Kids, the Cash, and Your Sanity, by Gayle Rosenwald Smith and Sally Abrahms (Berkley Publishing Group, 1998). Attorney Lee Borden of DivorceInfo.Com writes Athis is an extraordinarily sensible, sensitive, and pragmatic book. . . it [is just] as useful for men as for women. One of my favorite sections is 'hot-button Issues' -- things like "The Girlfriend in His Bed,' Having Your Child Travel Alone,' "and Smoking, Drugs, Drinking, Gambling, and Other Addictions.'"

Why Did You Have to Get a Divorce? and When Can I Get a Hamster?: A Guide to Parenting Through Divorce, by Anthony E. Wolf (Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 1998). Dr. Wolf is a clinical psychologist in Connecticut who lectures frequently on parenting topics. He writes about how children experience divorce, and offers practical advice on how to deal with the difficult issues that often accompany a divorce. He urges that parents' first concern should be for their children's emotional well-being.

Winning Custody: A Woman’s Guide to Retaining Custody of Her Children, by Deedra B. Hunter (St. Martin’s Press, 2001). Written by a psychotherapist who went through a bitter custody dispute herself, this book offers guidance on “how to find a good - and affordable - lawyer, how to effectively communicate with your ex, how to parent your child firmly, lovingly, and consistently throughout the crisis period, how to defuse your fears of losing your children, and how to love and believe in yourself during this most difficult time.” [From the publisher.]